2004-06-14 - 5:18 p.m.

Here it is now. A long time a comin. I present to you...

The 62 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Disclaimer: After taking into consideration everyone's submissions and then subjecting them to the criteria that makes a song Totally Awesome and not just Subtly Rad, I have come up with a pretty solid list. Will there be songs you disagree with? Undoubtedly. Should you prolly spend your time worrying about bigger problems like Middle Eastern Turmoil or the decline of the small business in the face of corporate behemoths like WalMart? Yes. So don't bitch about my selections. Laugh, nod, and move on.

My criteria for what makes a song is great is a combination of the following things:

1) A smooth combination of general appeal mixed with credibility from the music community. (i.e P Diddy has put out some catchy crap and run a marathon, but Outkast not only wows the public, but are also true musicians)

2) Must evoke feeling from the listener. The best songs can cause a rush of adrenaline or even inspire tears.

3) Or enough people suggested so I felt obligated to list it.

That's it. I tried not to have more than one song by any artist on this list...but I may have failed. Damn you Beatles!! Also, the list is kinda in order of the least awesomest (62) to the cat’s meow (1). That said, I should also point out that all songs on the list are equally great/awesome/ballsackkicking terrific.

That said, let's get this party started. Grab your favorite libation and hang on, this is gonna be fun.

62. Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed. This song makes me feel dirty and cool at the same time. References to drugs and giving head, and sung with a raspy, smoke-filled room voice, this song is perfect for the end of a late night binge, or in the next Tarantino movie.

61. I Love Rock 'n Roll – Joan Jett. Nothing is sexier that watching a woman karaoke this song the right way. A little strut in their step, fist pumping Billy Idol style, and really belching out the chorus…It’s poetry in motion.

60. American Pie - Don Mclean. By the time I was 8, my mom made sure I knew every word to this song. One of the few songs that modern radio will still play in its full, unedited, original version. Great remorseful opening, cryptic lyrics about popular figures, all building to a kickass jam. It just had to make the list.

59. The Joker – Steve Miller Band. Situation: You’re a college cover band playing quarter draw night. The crowd is getting restless with your originals and wants to hear something they know. Solution: Whip this one out of your back pocket and play it nice and slow. Make sure to point the mic at the crowd after screaming, “Some people call me Maurice…” Great dirty jam with one of the most famous bass lines ever.

58. Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head – Burt Bacharach. It’s a fine line that divides sincere from corny when it comes to happy-go-lucky style songs. Burt toes the line and in the end delivers an “I’m sad but it’s all gonna be ok” song that really makes you feel better about life. Emo picked the ball up later and ran with it, but this was the blueprint.

57. Work It - Missy Elliott. Not much hip-hop on my list. I can’t really produce an explanation for this one other than it’s catchy as hell, the chorus is run in reverse (who does that?!?) and I’m a secret Missy addict.

56. Changes – David Bowie. This song pushed me kicking and screaming through puberty. The verse and chorus are so different, there’s a wide range of instruments, and the material is downright honest and reassuring…a song the starts playing and you look at your friend and say, “Man, this is a great song.”

55. What I Got – Sublime. This was by far the hardest song to put on this list for one main reason. Every terrible bar band covers this song. Most of the time it’s that frat guy playing acoustic guitar on ladies night. You know, he’s got the Abercrombie outfit, the frosted tipped hair, and he says things in between songs like, “Hope everyone is like, totally getting ya drunk, ya know. Then he drops a Dave Chappelle line or something to seem hip and whatnot… But I digress. Awesome drum sample, tolerable white guy rapping, and just try and find a person who doesn’t know all the lyrics word for word.

54. Night and Day - Frank Sinatra. Originally written by Cole Porter, I was torn between Sinatra’s and U2’s versions of this ultra suave tune. I ended up goin for Ole Blue Eyes’ version simply because listening to it over a glass of red wine almost makes me feel like an ultra hip cat with grace and style. As it turns out I’m just a guy who hates cats and loves Old Style.

53. Turn, Turn, Turn – The Byrds. The definition of a truly timeless song. Another tune that my mom made sure I knew from front to back by the time I was 8. It delivers a very simple message that anyone, anywhere can relate too, and much like Raindrops, it toes the line between sincerity and corniness (it’s a word I swear) and comes out on the winning side.

52. #41 - Dave Matthews Band. Gah! What is DMB doing on my list?!? Last time I checked, I was a staunch advocate of stranding these guys on a desert island far away from their legions of frat boy fans…And yet… I can’t debate the fact that they make some pretty good music despite their fan base. This tune in particular grooves harder than any of their others, and, with Carter’s hands-o’-God drumming, it’s worthy of the #52 spot.

51. Teach Your Children Well - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. One of the few songs that I can remember both my mom and my dad singing to me. A song about growing up, watching your parents and your children age, and unconditional love…I remember watching a televised funeral for a prominent public figure when I was really young, and this song was playing as they showed a montage of clips from his life. I had no idea who the person was at the time (still don’t) and yet by the end of the segment I had tears in my eyes.

50. Redemption Song – Bob Marley. Educated, informed, very high…the best song he ever wrote, and probably one of the most politically charged besides War.

49. Like a Prayer – Madonna. Another karaoke classic. I had to put this one on the list for two reasons. One, it’s an awesome pop song. Two, a couple of girls threatened to punch me in the chops if it didn’t make the list. So there it is. Enjoy.

Whew. This is taking longer than I thought. Now that we’re through the upper echelon of the best of the best, let’s get into the meat and potatoes of the list. We keep on rockin with #48.

48. Sittin on the Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding. When the first few notes of that unforgettable bass line strike the inner ear, it causes the uncontrollable urge to relax, slow down, and enjoy life. Perfect for summer evenings on a porch with a few beers and some barbeque.

47. You Don't Know How It Feels – Tom Petty. And as Sittin’ winds down, what better song to segue way into than this one? Still sittin on the porch, a couple of beers later and full of barbeque, this song reminds me a whole bunch of The Joker. Not just because of its overt drug references, but more for its slow, bouncy rhythm that brings a smile to any drunken or stoned face.

46. God Only Knows - Beach Boys. God Only Knows how you couldn’t get laid if you put this on your girlfriend’s mix tape. A perfectly polished ballad that asks a very simple question. A perfect song for anniversaries. Dudes, take note.

45. NightSwimming – R.E.M. Take away the ridiculously amazing arrangement of this song (Lush strings, simple yet beautiful piano, etc…), and you’re still left with a beautiful poem about one of the most exciting, nervous, and romantic times of your life. You think it’s about skinny-dipping, but noooo. Look a little closer. This one is about those awkward teenage years. The friendships, the romance, the heartache. Made for summer evenings with a close friend.

44. Fred Jones Part 2 - Ben Folds. He’s gonna hate me for this, but I have to say it. This song makes Smitty (aka Chris Caldwell) cry like a baby every time he hears it. And for good reason. Ben is one of the most underrated storyteller/songwriters out there and he proves it with this tune. The song tells the story of an old man who’s worked for a paper his entire life. By the time he retires, no one working there even knows him, and he’s shuffled out of the office without a party or even a goodbye. The song is so real, you swear you know this gentle old man. He prolly lives down the street from you. If you’re in the car with Smitty, watch him when the song gets to the part where Ben sings, “And all of these bastards have taken his place, he’s forgotten but not yet gone…” He’ll prolly have a tear in his eye, and you know what? So will I.

43. The Wind Cries Mary – Jimi Hendrix. Ohhhhh Jimi. While he could rawk the shit out of his guitar, it’s his slower jams like Hey Joe and this little ditty that really makes me appreciate Hendrix. True talent is not only being able to play fast and loud, but also knowing when to reign it in. Music is made up of notes & rests. Jimi is a master of both.

42. Layla - Eric Clapton. Two of the greatest guitarists sitting back to back on my list. Layla is an awesome song on so many levels. Great rawker, screaming vocals, gnarly guitar, it has all the elements of a bad ass rock song. And then ole Slowhand does it one better by adding a ridiculously great piano based jam at the end of this epic tune. Another song that plenty of radio stations will still play the full version off despite its length.

41. Revolution – The Beatles. Making their first appearance on my list with a tune that inspired Charles Manson to do all his crazy, wacky, nutty hoopla. Whether you like this version or the swankier, jazzier White Album version, one thing is clear. They’re way better than Revolution 9. By the way, I hear The Taxmen do a mean cover of this tune…

40. I’ll Back You Up – DMB. Last DMB song I swear! I have to admit though, when it comes to bittersweet, tear-jerking, odes to a loved one lost. This one takes the cake. Just Dave and a guitar, no band, singing about the pain of losing his sister if I’m not mistaken (Back me up here Jordan.) The longing in his voice and the crispness of the acoustic guitar make this a perfect song to be played in the absolute dead of night when you cant sleep.

39. Let's Get It On – Marvin Gaye. Instead of wasting your time reading this entry, take a break and go satisfy your woman to this song. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

38. Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams. Oh man. This one is a doozy. Imagine you used to have a significant other who did nothing but mess your life up while you were together. They cheated on you, stole your stuff, and had sex with your friends. And yet, regardless of how bad they treated you, you still love them and miss them. Ok now, drink a fifth of whiskey, drunk dial that significant other and let those feelings fly. If you happen to put those feelings to music, you’ve got this harmonica-rich bluesy plee for love lost.

37. Train in Vain - The Clash. Hell yeah. There’s something about this song that inspires me to dance. The four-on-the-floor drum beat, the perfect blend of guitars and horns, etc… I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s some weird quality about this tune that forces me to my feet for a little jig.

36. Closer – Nine Inch Nails. Admit it. Sometimes you just feel downright dirty. We all have a little bit of Trent Reznor in us. That tortured, dark, mysterious side that doesn’t play by the rules. This song works because Trent embraces that side instead of shying away from it. Watch a little animal planet to get your technique down just right.

35. I Want You Back – Jackson 5. Funk guitar riffs, clever piano work and a young, black, nose-equipped Michael Jackson fill out this happy-go-lucky song. Ok, I’m gonna move on before I let all the bad MJ jokes overwhelm me.

34. Lighting Crashes – Live. I’ll admit, this is prolly on this list due more to the awkward years that were Junior High then for any other reason. Yet somehow this tale of birth, death and rebirth sparked something inside me the first time, and then every other time I heard it. A quiet shower that builds into a torrential downpour and eventually sweeps you away with a brilliant chorus that you can’t help but sing along with. By the end of the tune, you’re spent, but it’s a good spent.

33. 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins. The video was an awesome interpretation of this song. High school kids driving around together, going to house parties, goofing off in convenience stores, experiencing a first kiss… There are plenty of songs about growing up and experience adolescence, but this one pushes past the whining and revels in the innocence and care-free times of having nothing better to do than experience life with your best friends.

32. Blackbird – The Beatles. A song waaaayyyy before its time. If you watch Paul’s DVD “Back in the USA,” he explains that in England, the term “bird” is slang for a woman. Tie in the phrasing and lyrics of the song and the tune suddenly takes on a much bigger meaning. I only wish I could make such a clever societal statement.

31. Round Here - Counting Crows. Adam Duritz has a penchant for eloquent and yet straightforward storytelling. This poem/song deals with the hopelessness of middle-America towns where the only way out is off the top of a building.

Halfway through the countdown. Go grab a drink or something, take a potty break, pick your nose, pick your partners nose, whatev. Just be back for the second half.

30. Good - Better Than Ezra. So simple and yet so good. Nothing flashy going on in this song. The lyrics are standard, the musicianship is adequate, and yet it’s somehow this high on my list. I honestly couldn’t tell you why. This song is just flat out … Good.

29. Mrs. Robinson - Simon and Garfunkel. I’m so back and forth when it comes to Si and Gar, but in this case I’m in agreement. I love this song. Good harmonies, and it’s about a MILF! Can’t beat that!

28. Ashes of American Flags – Wilco. Instrumental experimentation was the key to this song. With ambient noises floating around throughout the whole song, sometimes sounding like lazy breezes and other times like the lapping of waves on the shore of Lake Michigan, Jeff Tweedy somehow forms a rhythm out of all this dissonance. Commanding one of my all time favorite voices, Jeff sings a quiet tune about insecurity. Best line… “I’m down on my hands and knees, every time a doorbell rings. I shake like a toothache, when I hear myself sing. All my lies are only wishes, I know I would die if I could come back new…”

27. I Wanna Rock With You - Michael Jackson. Pick up your dictionary. Look up smooth. I wouldn’t be surprised if it read, “See also: I Wanna Rock With You.” Great tune for a relaxed club setting or even at late night afterbars. Must… not… make MJ joke...

26. More Than a Feeling – Boston. … I don’t remember why I put this on here. Let’s just keep moving.

25. High and Dry – I love every incarnation of this genius band. But this is probably my favorite format. Guitars playing catchy riffs and Thom singing soulfully with just a pinch of whine. Pretty much every song they make is brilliant, this one just happens to shine a little brighter than the others.

24. Wonderwall – Oasis. They tried so hard to be the second coming of the Mop-Tops. And after What’s the Story Morning Glory? was released, it looked like they just might do it. Before falling short of the mark, the dueling Gallagher’s released this spiffy little number. So good Ryan Adams dusted it off and gave it a fresh feel a decade later.

23. Superstition - Stevie Wonder. He took James Brown funk and smushed it between a kickass clav keyboard sound, and a driving bass line to make this gem. How can you not feel this least bit cool when this song starts playing. By the way, have you ever seen Stevie Wonder’s house?!?! Neither has he.

That was a cheap shot. And I will prolly burn in hell. But the countdown must continue!

22. Always a Woman - Billy Joel. Kind of the blueprint for Ryan Adams’ “Come Pick Me Up.” Billy sings a little tale about a woman who is fiercely independent almost to the point where she drives men away from her, and yet Billy will always love her unconditionally. Now if he could just learn how to drive a car.

21. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd. “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.” And you wonder why it’s on my list. The proof is in the pudding!

20. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen. You know why I love Wayne’s World so much? Cuz that is exactly what you do when you hear this song. This isn’t a song you hear in elevators, department stores, or even on the radio. It’s a song that you play in the car with your friends, with the volume at max and the different voices assigned to different people. This tune is really three awesome songs in one. A vaudevillian intro, a straight up hard rock huzzah in the middle, and then a melancholy sonata finish. Somehow Freddie and Brian pull it all together.

19. Keep On Rockin in the Free World - Neil Young. A big middle finger to pollution, corporate dominance, and the upper class, Neil has crafted a rebellion tune for everyone from the punk on the corner, to the 9-5er slaving in a cubicle. You can keep your Skynard, I’ll take some Canadian angst anyday.

18. Only in Dreams – Weezer. The build-up finale of this song is the sole reason this makes the list. It has never been done better than the way Rivers and Co. do it here. Pat breaks the song down mathematically on the drums before reassembling the song in the same mathematical fashion. At one point, it’s just bass, then drums return at an increasing pace, eventually joined by two harmonizing guitars. Ask Ryan McClure, this is the best build-up in the history of rock. Ever.

17. Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley. I’m not the biggest fan of the King. But I’m willing to make an exception for this song. So powerful and driving, inspiring covers from all kinds of artists like U2 and Pete Yorn. He may have kicked off on the toilet, but this song definitely wasn’t in it.

16. Stairway to Heaven – Led Zepplin. There’s not really much for me to say about this song that hasn’t already been said and run into the ground to boot. So instead, I’ll post a link to a short history on the invention of Zepplins. Good reading!

15. With or Without You – U2. Great concept. Not being able to live with or without someone. What would you do if placed in such a precarious position? If you were Bono, you’d go on to sell a gajillion records and champion human rights all over the globe. For now, I’ll just recycle and try not to curse in front of kids.

14. In My Life – The Beatles. This tune is essential for any of those photograph retrospectives of like weddings, graduations, etc… If someone has gone to the trouble of making a video yearbook, you can be pretty damn sure that they’ve included this song on there. Johnny Cash recently paid tribute to the song and the result was definitely worthy of the original.

13. All Apologies – Nirvana. Yeah they’re primarily known for the assault on modern rock and their distorted guitars, but Kurt’s songwriting ability is showcased in this one. The ending is so eerie, almost forecasting the eventual demise of both Kurt and the band. Try the unplugged version for some real goosebumps.

12. You Shook Me All Night Long - ACDC . Nothing, and I mean nothing can get a crowd hyped faster than the guitar intro and opening lyrics of this song. This song is perfect if you’re in a bar and you’ve just finished your second drink. You’re considering leaving, possibly to go home to read or cry about your lonely life. Then all the sudden, someone finally gets their act together and plays this song on the jukebox. Suddenly, you’re reinvigorated and ready to party all night long.

11. Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney. This is the loudest, most intense song about love with the most minimal use of guitars and drums. And I love it. Paul’s voice goes from soft and crooning to harsh and scratchy as he professes his love. He admits his shortcomings, embraces her beauty, and in the end just lets her know how amazed he is by her. Another gem from the master songwriter.

The TOP TEN! HOLY HELL!

10. Everlong - Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl is slowly and surely carving his niche as one of the greatest musicians of our generation. Our kids will look back on him with same reverence that we have for songwriters from our parents’ generation. His work with Nirvana aside, Grohl is writing great songs that fit in all kinds of categories. He keeps hard rawkers happy, but also drops radio friendly numbers. Everlong is the perfect blend of both and also features the second best build up moment in rock history. Everything about this song, from the blazing high hat work to the drop D guitars sounds so awesome. Give it another listen. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

9. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan. The master storyteller at his finest in terms of lyrics and flow. The song meanders for almost 6 minutes as Bob wheels a tale of a man suddenly on his own. It seems a bit vindictive at times, but the true purpose of the song is obscured by an awesome backing band and an addictive chorus.

8. Melt with You - Modern English. One of the few songs to escape the day glow, slap bracelet, musical crapfest that was the 80’s. A song about loving someone to the point where you’d melt with them. The song is carried by some creative synth sounds, as well as a floor tom riff during the chorus that even Neil Hebrink thinks is pretty awesome. Too bad Burger King got a hold of it. Damn corporate bastards.

7. You Cant Always Get What You Want - Rolling Stones. Before I get into the bulk of this song, I have to make a comment about the full choir intro. It’s weird. Somedays I think that it’s way too much. And then somedays, I’m like, “Wow. That adds so much to the song.” Regardless of how you feel about the intro, the rest of the song, as well as the main message it sends are undeniably great. Then when the choir joins back in at the end, the song almost takes on an ethereal, heaven-like quality that leaves a smile on your face for days.

6. So Far Away - Carole King. My mom’s favorite song. I remember the first time I heard this I was 6 years old, laying on the floor in our living room in front of the record player. Even then, the song was so tender and loving that I understood what it was about even without understanding the lyrics. It’s a song that can be about a lover, about a friend, about family… it crosses all borders. The song is just wistful longing for anybody you love who’s just so far away from you. Carole pinned many great songs over her career, but this is the one I think she should be remembered for.

5. Tiny Dancer - Elton John. Sigh. This is one of the best sing-a-long songs that any band ever possibly hope to cover. Women love this song like no other, guys have a secret spot in their hearts for it too. The imagery that Bernie Taupin evokes in his lyrics of this woman are amazing. Every time I hear this song, I wish I could meet the woman that this song is about. Then I realize it’s probably really about a dude. And that bums me out.

4. Honky-Tonk Woman - Rolling Stones. This song is the perfect blend of country and rock. It’s so dirty, so edgy and so rawkin and showcases the Stones at the highest point in their 200 year career. One of the few non-country tunes that our DJ at Cody’s could spin and get a positive reaction from the crowd. It’s a staple for any big bar bands.

3. Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who. It’s long, has a slow build, and ends with a mind blowing scream. Sure, it sounds like I’m talking about sex with me. But this time I’m not. I love this song for multiple reasons. It opens with an arpegiated synth arrangement that quickly gives way to the maniacal drumming of Keith Moon and the messianic guitar playing of Pete Townsend who is 50% God, 50% human. Then, just when you think the song is going to fade out, Roger brings it all back together with the #1 most awesomest rawk scream ever. Any other human who attempts to mimic that scream will find his head instantly exploded. I’m not kidding.

2. Imagine - John Lennon. I would hazard a guess that 50% of the entire Earth’s population knows this song. It might be even more. It embraces peace, the one simple idea that all human beings should strive for in their lifetime. It proposes no religion, no politics, nothing to keep us from one another. I think it’s one of the most radical and dangerous songs of all time. And that’s why it’s the 2nd greatest.

1. Hey Jude - The Beatles. If Imagine is #2 based on it’s content, than Hey Jude is #1 based on it’s musicality and format. A very simple song about a very simple subject, this tune is #1 for 5 main reasons. So here’s a lit within a list:

5) The musicianship on the song is the perfect blend of showcasing and knowing when less is more.

4) Paul is one of the best vocalists ever in terms of inflecting his voice and enunciating his words.

3) The nah-nah outro is as much fun to play as it is to listen to or sing along with.

2) The format of the song, as it transitions from verse to chorus, creates a lovely flow that keeps the listener focused on the song and its dynamics.

1) It’s fucking Hey Jude by the Beatles. What else do you want me to say?

Alright! It’s over! I’m sure you disagree with like 10-20 songs on this list. So what! It’s all opinionated anyway. I’m sure by next month I’ll have a completely different list. So enjoy it for what it is. Please post in the guestbook what ya liked about the list. If you feel inclined to make suggestions about songs that should have made it, cool! If you fell inclined to make suggestions about songs I listed that have no business being on the list, blow it out yer ass!

And Keep on Rockin in the Free World!

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