2005-04-07 - 11:59 a.m.

The first warm rain of spring made its way (thanks for taking your sweet-ass time) into Columbia and watered our lawns and filled our (cleaned just in time) gutters. Stepping out into it yesterday afternoon, I flinched as the first of a million raindrops splattered onto my forehead. Intially flinching (a habit honed from winter rains that are cold and harsh and unforgiving) I soon relaxed my muscles and allowed the softer spring drops to christen my forehead.

Yesterday was a physical day. Time was spent in both the gym and at a late-night indoor soccer game. My body has ceased to creek and whine after every match. The morning after muscle cramps have lessened a little, and the soreness in my back is dealt with rather than compalined about. My feet are regaining coordination and quickness, no longer am I falling victim to bad touches and bad passing... I'm slowly remembering the player I used to be, my body waking up in tandem with my soccer brain.

Shit. Shit. Shit. If women have good ole PMS to predict their impending menstration cycle, then I surely have some sort of ESP that predicts my monthly bad mood. Perhaps there are signals in the environment around me, or perhpas it's the environment itself that acts upon my mind and pushes me towards these states of unhappiness.

People not necesarily in my immediate circle, but girlfriends of, friends of, etc... have been weighing on my mind, causing me distress. Normally it's no skin off my back, but when its combined with other factors (workloads, bills, etc.) their normally harmless and ignorant comments tend to set me off. Which is unfortunate because now I'm feeding their egos by paying more credit to their words then is due. And I can't stop that with a simple segue into a new topic.

Music, music, music. Where would I be without music. The bookshelf is nearing capacity, a sight I didn't think I'd bear witness to for at least another 5 years or so. I've found a new love for guitars and amps and recording devices, so I've spent at least an hour on Ebay every day for the past two weeks, hunting for some diamond in the rough deal. I think I'm going to grab an 8-track digital recorder and leave it running one night, just letting it soak in every sound I can come up with. That would be a lovely start. And then slowly start picking songs out of those sounds.

Lunch time is approaching, and I've definitely earned a treat after all the hard work (mentally and physically) I've exerted over the past week. The special at the Main Squeeze (which I receive via email every day because as my office mates like to say, "I'm an organic food junkie") looks pretty damn good. Something about organic potatoes in an enchilada. Taking it home and enjoying it in front of our big living room window sounds like a plan. Ooohh, and my lil ole Dot got new strings and a new set-up so she's sounding pretty amazing. Lunch and a lil guitar strumming while watching the rain should make for a good start to reversing this current mood swing.

Yeah. That's a step in the right direction.

The blisters, scabs, wounds, cuts, etc... from last weekend's madness have all healed just in time for another weekend of bartending. Just about the time we mend ourselves, life places another task in front of us that will easily undo the healing and force us to cope and mend once again. Eventually the hands become to tough to cut into, but do they also become to rough to hold the hands of others?

previous - next