2006-01-24 - 9:07 a.m.

I'm learning to love the simple things again. After one struggle after another, enduring the kind of heartbreak I haven't known for years and years, I'm learning to appreciate those little things that we take forgranted.

Funny how you get so wrapped up in your own grandeur, decorating yourself with glittery trinkets, anything to hide the true you underneath... and then one day karma strips you bare, leaving nothing but a negelected, ugly husk that you've been trying to cover with flashy distractions.

And then you decide.

You can either slump, sink into depression, point the finger at everyone else, blaming others, bad luck, or whatever easy target presents itself. You can become distant and moody, alienating yourself from your friends and family.

Or you can own up to your mistakes. Make the startling realization that, wow, you're just fuckin human after all. That superman complex was, exactly that. Swallow your medcinie, bandages the cuts, and try to learn something from the whole experience.

Time to count the blessings.

1) My family is healthy and happy. The parents are headed out to California to begin a new adventure at a job that my father is truly excited about. My mom is enjoying the thought of downsizing to a more managable home in sunny Pasadena. Daniel begins baseball shortly, finally rising up to grasp hold of the brass ring he's worked so damn hard for. And Derrick and the fam are doin fine, after weatehring a lil dental surgery for young Dylan.

2) The house is warm, cozy, and most importnantly, finally feeling like a home. The mortgage has worked its way into my budget, becoming managable and a source of pride everytime I get the statement showing me how much of the loan I've paid off.

3) My friendship with Patrick keeps expanding, taking in new elements all the time. We have our first soccer game tonight and our new bass player is supposed to set up his gear this afternoon.

4) Friends. I have some.

So I'm wiggling my toes in my shoes, enjoying the feeling of warm white cotton, just these little things that remind me that I'm still breathing. At 24, I feel 40, and for some reason, it's not very scary. Much more relaxing then I'd thought it would be.

These are throw-a-way entrys.

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